State of mind

Back in April, I wrote about productivity and guilt, about choosing mountains over money. I thought I was still processing personal burnout. Two months of travelling later, I realize I was only scratching the surface.

This week I made the mistake of opening LinkedIn. Success story after success story, funding rounds, AI launches, exponential growth. Meanwhile I’m sitting in my car, surrounded by everything I own, wondering what the fuck I’m doing with my life. The disconnect between their world and mine feels insurmountable.

Here’s the thing though: I’m literally freelancing for an AI startup right now. The irony isn’t lost on me. They’re good people, genuinely supportive, building something that brings joy to creators. I can see the value in what they’re doing. But I also can’t unsee the bigger picture. My LinkedIn feed full of layoff stories followed immediately by “We’re excited to announce our new AI initiative!”.

They’re accelerating toward a cliff and calling it progress. The world feels like it’s crumbling at an insane pace, and I’m not sure of my place in it anymore…

Driving through Alberta yesterday, I passed a truck full of cows. You could see their eyes through the slats, these beautiful creatures hours from slaughter, and everyone just… drove past like it was nothing.

What I really want is to live simply. Take photos. Make things for people who appreciate them. Find a corner of the world where I can exist without contributing to the machinery.

I just have this growing certainty that we can’t continue on this path.